Hetalia: It's Raining Units
by The Fool Arcana
Summary: "If you look up "villain" in the dictionary, I bet you'll see Russia's face next to it." "Yong-soo-hyung...you played Tales of the Abyss again? Don't go changing it around!" "But it's fun, Da-ze! Russia reminds me of Jade!" "How the hell does-...no don't ask. Don't ever ask." "Your breasts belong to me, Da-ze!" "I'm a BOY damn it!" DISCONTINUED


**Chapter One**

Language: English**  
**

Rated: T

Genre: Humor/Friendship/Family/Romance(?)/Action/Adventure

Type of Fic: Hetalia Manual(s) + OC

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**The Fool Arcana: **_Alright. I decided to try a **Hetalia Manual**_ _thingy. Yes I said thingy. The idea was created by **LolliDictator (est.1995) **but of course Hetalia belongs to the awesome guy who made it...and I can never remember how to spell his name. Anyways! Like I said my first time doing something like this...and all that jazz. So thanks for putting up with it if you read._

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You know I've come to hate Wednesdays. I find them it to be the most troublesome day of my life actually—hate them more than Monday! It was just hell. Well for the youngest out of a family of fourteen of course it would be! Raine Vargas-Shirogane-Xing, age ten could only sigh as he watched his elder siblings go at it. His father had actually married another man (Not that he had a problem) after his mother passed away on 9/11. Of course his mother was of Italian, Pilipino and American descent so he took on her name (His father of course did too, his original surname was Walker) while his birth father was of Scottish and Japanese descent.

Now his step-father…was a nice man and really care free—not that he was biased really—but for an adult who was of Asian descent he was well…reminded greatly of Yong Soo Im otherwise known as Korea from an anime which originated as a Web comic called Axis Powers Hetalia in other words the Axis Powers Useless Italy or something…! Ah he was off topic anyways…

Another thing about Raine (sometimes he liked referring to himself in third person, go screw a tree if you have complaints!) people would describe him as a weeaboo one would say due to his choice in style and clothing and…his mass collection of anime and manga as well as various posters—but no. He was not one. He didn't go around sprouting like he knew everything or correcting people, it wasn't his place—god forbid his best friend who is actually Japanese was the one to go nuts when people do that of course it would come with a shout of words that should not leave a ten year old's mouth of course which were along the lines of: **JUST BECAUSE YOU TOOK JAPANESE DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW SHIT! GO LIVE THERE FOR SIX YEARS AND THEN WE WILL TALK! **

Mind you that is a pretty toned down version of what Raine's friend, Misaki Honda would say—ah yes…Honda. Misaki loved any anime character with the name Honda it was…a tad bit scary. By scary of course he means downright scary and you should run if that is your surname.

…

….

…

…..

Crap! Totally went off topic! Anyways like I (Raine Vargas-Xing) was saying…I really hate Wednesdays more than any day of the week for one reason and one reason alone…

That reason?

Apparently "Hetalia Manuals" turned out to be real. How? Not sure that will ever be sprouted about. Maybe said well…right now at 6:47 AM on Wednesday of June 20th, 2012, I, Raine Vargas-Xing am staring at a large crate with a fucking Flying Mint Bunny on it. Yup…not only that BUT my whole family is MIA with a note going, "Fourth Honey moon for your father and myself! Your siblings are all off at camp for the summer! Have fun!"

WHO JUST LEAVES A TEN YEAR OLD ALONE?! Seriously! Isn't that like Illegal!? Well this is where it all starts…because the one they sent me JUST had to someone I couldn't deal with.

Yong Soo Im.

Oh yeah they sent him that Hetalia Unit.

It also didn't help that people say he just looks like Yao Wang, Aka China. Yeah. (Well with violet pink hair…anyways. Yeah he dyed it. So what? Ten year olds can dye it—yeah he was a boy! Nothing wrong with that! Violent and pink were manly)

….

…

….

He was fucking screwed man.

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It was about three PM when a Sighing Raine couldn't help but finally stare at the large box. Of course he was short for his age. He just had to be short. Scanning over the manual the ten year old felt like he was in some sort of Harry Potter gag with the instructions—no why Harry Potter? Made no sense—crap he was getting off track again!

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**YONG-SOO IM: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS!** For some reason, you have just purchased your very own YONG-SOO IM unit! This manual was made in order for you, the owner, to understand how to extract the very best of your unit. And believe us, you will need this manual.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Yong-Soo Im/Im Yong-Soo. Will respond to "South Korea", "North Korea", "Korea", "Older Brother", "Yong-soo-oppa", "Yong-soo-hyung", and indirectly to "Pedophile"; if in _Nationalist_ mode, (s) he will reply to "Hwa-Jeong", "Sister", "North Korea", and "Bitch".

Age: 18

Place of Manufacture: Seoul, Korea

Height: 5'8"

Weight: 135 lbs

Length: Longer than you'd expect

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Whoa, whoa, _**WHOA**_. Length!? Raine felt his right eye twitch ever so slightly. That meant…why would they put that on there?! That made no sense-…oh. Turning a bit red he shifted a bit uncomfortably. Curse being so young and knowing about the nasty nasty…even his six year old cousin knew—man the kids of America sure were tainted now a days. Shaking off he continued to read.

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**Your YONG-SOO IM unit comes with the following:**

One (1) navy blue and white hanbok

One (1) art notepad

One (1) CD recording of "Arirang"*

Three (3) Korean drama DVDs

Four (4) jars of kimchi*

**Programming**

Your YONG-SOO IM unit is equipped with the following traits:

Male Model: Want to show off your unit to the world, or just in need of some cash? Well, send your YONG-SOO IM unit the nearest modeling agency, and watch him work magic!

Mangaka/Professional Art Teacher: Always wanted to learn how to draw? If you can sit through his lessons, we guarantee that you'll soon become the artist you always wished you could be!

Stalker: If you have a major crush on that cute boy next door, but he is terrified of you, never fear! Just send your unit after him, and you'll soon have all the photos you need.

Babysitter: He doesn't look it, but your unit is great with kids. Just don't leave them with him for too long; we are not responsible for any complaints filed by the parents of children he babysat.

Substitute Guardian: Trying to make a point to that ridiculous landlady, neighbor or teacher? Just sic your YONG-SOO IM unit on 'em, and watch your opponent run for their life!"

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Oh? Substitute Guardian? Might come in handy if any police come a knocking-…wait no. That might be bad actually. Really bad…he did not want child services to be called if Yong-Soo decided to chase them down, "Why did they send me this guy? I mean-….uh…." trailing off Raine stared as the flying mint bunny that was just in front of him, eye level was now at the top of the box. Did that thing…move? Shivering a bit he slowly looked back down at the manual and decided to take four steps away from the box as he read.

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**Removal of your YONG-SOO IM from Packaging**

This is actually a much harder task than you may think. If you wake your unit incorrectly, then you will never hear the end of it; if you move him before he is completely awake, then you might accidentally make him hate you. To avoid the aforementioned scenarios, we have provided a list of safe ways in which you can awaken your unit:

1. Stand next to the box, preferably prepared to block flying box lids, and say either, "Aru!" or, "Desu." Your YONG-SOO IM will manage to sidekick or palm the box lid off and get up, and you must immediately reprogram him lest he grope you in the belief that you are one of his brothers.

2. Take either the CD recording of "Arirang", or one of the provided drama DVDs, and play them loudly. If using the CD, you will hear humming and sometimes singing from the box, and it is safe to remove the top; if you play the dramas, then you will hear irritated grunting caused by your unit's annoyance at missing the drama. You can then remove the top as well, though he will probably jump up and shock you before running to the television or computer where the drama is playing.

3. Open a jar of the provided kimchi and set it on a plate. Use a fan or other such machine to waft the smell towards the box. You can also do this with a plate of boolnak jungol* or spiced jjol myun*. This route will make your YONG-SOO IM hungry and he will whine for food until you feed him.

4. Mispronounce Korean. Say, "Annyeonghaseyo!" as terribly as you can manage. This will result in a lengthy Korean pronunciation lesson from your unit, who will jump up violently when he hears you speak.

5. Open the box and poke your unit's curl. He will shudder and wake up, and he might be horny, so you probably want to watch out.

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Say what? Well he could go for Aru or Desu…though that might cause some major mental trauma that would be locked away till teenage years. Yup. Scanning a bit more he blinked at the…personality options? Well that is reprogramming right?

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**Reprogramming**

Upon waking your YONG-SOO IM, or calming him down again, you will have the option to reprogram him from his normal modes.

_Happy-go-lucky (default)_

_Touchy (default)_

_Drunk_

_Whiny_

_Horny_

_Dramatic (locked)_

_Nationalist (locked)_

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Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay….he was not going to let the third, fourth, fifth, or seventh unlock—wait. Touchy? Touchy was default? Well…the guy wouldn't molest kids' right? Riiiiiight? Ugh…but even if he was small for his age he looked older than he should. It was a curse having the DNA he had but also very nice—AGAIN OFF THE TRACK—Dear god the Flying Mint Bunny moved again! Having enough of this and deciding to read the rest later, Raine sucked in his breath, "ARU!"

"ANIKI!" the cheery cry from inside the now shaking crate which burst open, before the blur had attached itself to none other than Raine.

Raine promptly falling backwards having not stepped away gave a yelp, "Aiyaaaaah!" before quickly turning the unit off which was groping at his non-existent chest, grunting at the heavy weight, the ten year old stared silently for a few moments, "…Yeah…" he started softly, "I really hate Wednesdays."

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**-Author's Corner-**

Okay so here is my failed attempt at the manual thing. Ahahaha...I hope for some feed back if you guys are all nice enough. But anyways...  
for the OC's Nationality I just...used part of what I am. I'm apparently a really mixed mutt 8D.

German/Pinoy/Russian/Sweedish/American/Chinese/Japanese/Italian

I think its...a bit more too...Polish maybe as well? All I know is my family tree is all over the place man. And I mean all over...also yeah Fourteen sibs-Raine makes the 14th but they are all his step-sibs. Yeah its possible...my mom is 3rd to last in her family of thirteen and my dad's dad-my gramps had like 14 elder sibs (Though would of been sixteen but the first was miscarriage and second stillborn) so yeah.

I took into a Home Alone type thing for the summer for this I guess...though I actually on the next chapter might be all "Four years Later" with flash backs and all that jazz...uh anyways...I guess that is about it? Er...**I have no Idea how to put links on here that wont break anymore due to the upgrading it so its not possible or something so just look up**_Est. 1995(Formally Known as_ LolliDictator)**for the manuals and stuff...**

Well that is about it like I said. Also I just got Persona 4 The Golden. It's awesome. TO bad I couldn't get the Solid Gold Eddition...curse you** FortunesRevolver(FLYNNYOUSUCKBUTILOVEYOUDOUBT YOU'DREADTHISLOLSOYOUWONTSEETHIS )**

Also if you liked this lemme know what you thought and some ideas...also who should be next? I'm thinking of Vash, Lilli, Elizabeta or Allistor(Scotland)...though throw in some peoplez if you want. :3


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